A Narnian Mary Sue buster x
by Narnian1995
Summary: Susan attempts to return to Narnia. And her Caspian. Though it may end differently then you'd imagine...Inspired by MonkeySaru's 'It's the end of the world as we know it' /s/4872713/1/Its the end of the world as we know it
1. Chapter 1

**IMPORTANT NOTICE: Narnia_Fan12 is not responsible for any chocking due to laughter, sickness due to grossity, or offense due to sue busting.**

[Caspian with Ramandu's daughter] I don't think I can love you. Last time I tried to love someone it didn't work out... she was 2000 years old.

[Ramandu's Daughter] I'm 2000 years old!

[Caspian] And I totally love you.

[Ramandu's daughter] But you love Susan.

[Caspian] Yes, but that scar has left my soul. I leap for joy being around you. You're much prettier and smarter. And you don't show it. Which is honorable in a lady.

[RD] Thank you, my love. *Kiss*smooch*sick*

[Caspian] You kiss better then Susan ever did.

*MEANWHILE*

Susan decided that she had better try to get back into Narnia before Caspian got… hooked. [x(]

She went to the Professor's house.

[Susan] Professor, do you still have those magic rings you told us about?

[Professor] Dear child, what are you doing all the way out here?

[Susan] That's not important. Tell me, now! Or shall I have my dwarf find you a tongue, with his whip?

*garden gnome laughs*

[Prof] It's in my drawer. Only one of them, though. So you wouldn't be able to get back without a little bit of believing and magic.

[Susan] Anything to get back to my dear Caspian.

[Prof] Hmm?

[Susan] Nevermind… *grabs ring, and puts on*

*Susan finds herself on Ramandu's Island*

[Susan] *seeing Caspian and RD* Caspian! It's me, honey!

[Caspian] Oh my *:O* I thought… I'd never see you again.

[Susan] I didn't think I would. I'm here now though, sweety cheeks. I see you've found some of your family? You're Grandma perhaps?

[Caspian] Actually… this is my… *ahem* Let me introduce you both. This is Ramandu's Daughter-

---

Peter and Edmund enter the scene.

[Peter] I thought you didn't believe in Narnia? And yet I find you here?

[Susan] I don't.

[Caspian] You don't believe you're here?

[Susan] I'm too happy to be with you to believe anything.

[Peter] Take that back, Su.

[Edmund *whispering to Monkeysaru*] Geez, talk about sickness.

---

[Susan] Umm… really, I'm tired of titles. I'd like to know her by her *real* name?

[Caspian] Well… er… My creator never thought of that.

[Susan] *winks* Gotcha. Some people like to keep their identities secret, especially when it's being posted online. *waves to viewers*

[Caspian] Actually… er… never mind. And Ramandu's Daughter *sees Susan wink at RD* this is Susan.

*Caspian Gasps at his problem he just started*

[RD] I thought you dumped this one! You promised me your love!

[Susan] Wha??? You've… replaced me with… HER?!

[Caspian] Well you were never coming back… so…

[Susan] Haven't you heard the "I will always be with you, in your heart" song?!

[Caspian] Oh, is that the one you sent to me and my ipod? *listens*

[Susan] Yes.

[Peter] I didn't know the signal went all the way to Narnia- URG SUSAN! I should've known we'd chase you all the way across the world to find you here with… Caspian and his… who is she? Chicken Nugget Girl?

[Caspian] Hehe… Ramandu's Daughter.

[Peter] Titles? Why titles? Nobody ever called me the magnificent.

[Edmund *whispering*] They didn't have to. You weren't all that magnificent.

[Peter] *glares* We'll have to deal with this Mary Sue the old fashioned way.

[Susan] *Gah!* I'm not the one who is being all mushy mushy. Caspian betrayed me for… who is she again?

[Caspian] *smacks face*

[MonkeySaru] *audio narrorator* I think you're going a bit too far, bud. x]

[Peter and Edmund] *Grab her!*

*cloud of dust dominates*

All back in England. Susan wakes up. She gets out of bed, and smacks Peter and Edmund in the face.

You always ruin the perfectest Dreams.

The End :P

Hope I Didn't Offend Anybody…

No Susans, Garden Gnomes, Caspians, or Eds or Peters were harmed in this dream.


	2. Chapter 2

**If you have not done so already, Read Part 1 ****Here.****, so this'll make sense. **

**Narnian Mary Sue: 2**

Susan believed that her dream was a sign.

[Susan] (to Dwarf) Gather the faithful. If it's a war that guys daughter wants, it's a war she shall get.

[Peter] *unhearing the preceding conversation* Susan, would you help me write down the information of the war you started in Calormen?

[Susan] You always make me feel so happy inside.

[Lucy] I'm sure when I'm older I'll understand…

[Edmund] I'm older and I don't want to understand.

*grumble grumble gurgle roar*

[Edmund] Where'd you stash the goldfish, Susan?

[Susan] *snork!* They're not reachable anymore.

[Lucy] Who saw the sky today? Talk about blue.

[Peter] Susan, please help me here.

[Susan] *listens to radio*

[Edmund] Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

[Peter] You smell like lobster.

*Susan tries to brainstorm a way back into Narnia*

[Lucy] Who is responsible for this Poster of Prince Caspian in my dresser?

[Susan] *looks all innocent* Not me. :} I was putting on my makeup this morning. Couldn't've been me.

[Lucy] You liar.

[Susan] Excuse me?

[Lucy] My LieDetector8500 detected lie brainwaves between our conversation.

[Susan] Kids these days… *walks upstairs*

[Susan] *locks door to room* What to do.. What to do… I know! I could turn her into a flee. A harmless little flee. And I'd put that flee in a box, put that flee in another, box, and put that into one more box, and mail that box to myself *cackles* and I'd smash it with a hammer! It's brilliant Brilliant Brilliant I tell you! *laughs*

[Lucy] *listens to Susan talking* Hehe, I have something to tell Peter. *slips to the side, walks slowly, zooms across the hall, hides under table, runs into kitchen*

(Edmund sees her)

[Lucy] *one note hum*

[Edmund] Batty. Just batty. *rolls eyes*

[Lucy] *slips into Peter's room* I have news concerning suspect 1.

[Peter] Do tell, do tell. What have you heard?

[Lucy] *tells*

[Peter] Oh my. This is serious. I wonder who she's trying to ditch?

[Lucy] *calls to mind The Lion King: How to Ditch the Dodo*

[Edmund] Peter, you'd better come quickly. Susan's missing.

[Peter] Suit up, Ed! We got a 'Sue.

[Susan] This is the way to go. Porfessor's house… which road?

*Two Roads in view: Professor's House Court, and Hotwheels Drive*

{Goes down Professor's Court}

[Susan] Ah. There it is x}. *walks inside, and touches a statue that looks like Caspian, and kisses*

[Mrs. Macready] There will be no a-touching of the historical artifacts!

[Susan] I need to talk to the professor.

[Mrs. Macready] There will be no disturbin; of the professor.

[Susan] We've been through this before… *walks into Prof's Room*

[Professor] Ah! A Child! Don't let her get away, Mrs. Macready! Lock Her UP!!

[Susan] It's me, Mr. Kirke.

[Professor] *don't talk to children you don't know*

[Susan] Do you still have that magic ring that gets you to Narnia?

[Professor] Magic ring? Ah, I remember.

[Susan]… well?

[Professor] What do they teach in literature these days? Did you not read that I buried them at my house in London?

[Susan] Oh, gee. Thanks… *skull and crossbones*

*meanwhiles*

[Peter] Grab the 'sue lure.

[Edmund] *Grabs picture of Caspian and puts in briefcase, puts on sunglasses*

[Lucy] Shall I stay and monitor our situation?

[Edmund] We might need you to help us come up with a better strategy. Peter's losin' it. He's tired of Mary Sues…

[Lucy] ah. I see. Shall I bring the Mac n' Cheese Casserole?

[Peter] No! We'll pick up McDonalds on the way home.

[Lucy] But their giving out Spiderman toys… x[

[Edmund] Spiderman *sings theme song*

[Peter] We'll get you an exclusive fluffy hat from The Narnian Outlet.

[Lucy] *Meep!* Sure! And I already got the pepper spray.

[Edmund] Bravo, bravo!

---

*In Narnia*

[Caspian] I love you. Your hair glistens in the sun, your wrinkles catch more sunlight then anyone I every knew. Can I call you Ray?

[RD] Eep! I want a flapjack.

[Caspian] Erm… What's your name?

[RD] Eep! I want a flapjack.

[Caspian] Your voice is like Parrots' singing in the morning. I like it.

[RD] I love peanuts.

---

[Lucy] I bet Susan's being all Mary Sue huh?

[Edmund] More likely then not, which I'm not sure of, so could be that she's more Mary Sue-ish then so.

[Peter] We're walking in circles.

[Lucy] Huh? Really? How quaint. I told you that 15 minutes ago.

[Edmund] Boom boom ain't it great to be crazy!

[Lucy] Epic Veggietales!

---

*Susan appears in Narnia, covered in dirt*

[Susan] Caspian! Honey! I've missed you so. My heart longs for you!!!

[Caspian] I want a flapjack.

[RD] Almost. It's: Eep! I want a flapjack.

[Susan] Hullo? Anyone in there?

[Caspian] *gasp*

[Susan] Remember me? Huh? Do you boy? Huh? Do ya?

[Caspian] As if in a dream… or a dream of a dream

[MonkeySaru] *offscreen* Shameless advertising!

[Susan] I want you back…

[Caspian] I do too, dear.

[RD] Eep! Hello, starshine! The earth says hello!

[Susan] Uh-oh, her again.

[Caspian] Well… *ahem* Let me introduce you both.

[Susan] *mean face* First off, we've already met. Nice to see you again. *shakes hand*

[RD] Eep! I want a flapjack!

[Susan] That's bizarre. Nice theme line, though.

[Caspian] You… her… how's this gonna work out?

[Susan] Come with me, honey nuts, come with me.

[Caspian] I need to eat a hearty breakfast of Honey Nut Cheerios before I do. Long journey, can't go on an empty stomach!

[Susan] Come, before she bewitches you!

[RD] *eyes turn into hypnosis* You want a flapjack.

[Caspian] I want a flapjack.

---

*Peter, Edmund, and Lucy arrive*

[Lucy] Ha! We found you at last! Have at thee, knave!

[Peter] We shouldn't've brought Lucy… toldja she'd be trouble.

[Edmund] Get her Lu, show her who's boss!

[Lucy] I will not fight an unarmed 'Sue. Here, pick up your sword.

[Caspian] That's my sword, you beast!

[Peter] er… Caspian? You're talking to a Queen.

[Caspian] *Gasp!*

[Lucy] *Gasp!*

[Caspian] you read it, didn't you, Lu?

[Lucy] You read it, didn't you Casp?

[Caspian] The leaked script. Lusaspian crush.

*can you feel the love tonight*

[Lucy] I want to say the beauty spell to impress you for my beauty.

[Caspian] You do that.

[RD] Eep! I want a cracker!

[Peter] Caspian and Lucy are being hypnotized by Ramandu!

[MonkeySaru] Eep! Now **I **want a flapjack!

**TO BE CONTINUED…**


End file.
